Worthy
by thescariestadverbs
Summary: One-shot, night time musings: I want to hide you, I wonder if I could. If we could jump in the car and race the darkness. I wonder if we would win? Could we outrun our destiny? I guess it doesn't matter what kind of future I think we have or you think we have. As long as we get to find out which one of us is right. God, I hope it's you.


WorthySummary: I want to hide you, I wonder if I could. If we could jump in the car and race the darkness. I wonder if we would win? Could we outrun our destiny? I guess it doesn't matter what kind of future I think we have or you think we have. As long as we get to find out which one of us is right. God, I hope it's you.

I can feel the heat of your skin on my back as you sleep, your arm resting lazily across my waist. Your breath is even, steady. I want to grab you and shake you. How could you possibly be sleeping right now? I want to bury my face in your neck and sob. I want to grab you and ride you until the daylight comes. I want to scream at you. I do none of these things, instead, I listen to the rhythm of your breath and wonder. How did we make it this far? How are we going to continue on?

I can't deny the darkness is coming. I can feel it in my soul. In my bones. I can hear it. I want to hide you, I wonder if I could. If we could jump in the car and race the darkness. I wonder if we would win? Could we outrun our destiny?

You have told me you are impressed by my bravery, my strength and my conviction. The truth is I have none of these things. I want nothing more than to be a coward. To hide in this dirty motel room with you and just let it come. Let the fire rain down around us. I'm completely fine with dying in your arms.

You want more than that. You don't say it but I see it in your eyes. You don't believe in giving up without a fight. I honestly think you think we can win this war. You can see our future in the darkness. I gave up on that idea so long ago I don't even remember it. But…how could I take it away from you? I have taken so much already.

Love changes so much, so quickly. Before I could help myself I was ready to die for you. It sounds so simple. To die for another. I would love to say it's that simple. I was so used to being on my own. I didn't know how much I needed someone like you. It was so much easier on my own. I would die for you but I would never die in front of you. If I could help it.

I remember the first night you climbed in to my bed. You smelled of sweat and blood and dirt. And sex. I could hear the blood rushing in my ears. I didn't hear a word you said. Your eyes were wide and wild when you kissed me. I remember the warmth of your touch. Your skin, tight and taught across your body burning through me at every touch. I remember feeling you inside me for the first time. Suddenly realizing how empty I had been for so long.

I haven't slept alone since. You float in and out at your own whim, busy with other things you would say. And I wait for you. I would like to think I am stronger than that but I'm not. I can't sleep alone anymore. Half the time I can't sleep when you are here.

It wasn't the sex that I craved, though I would never turn it down. I craved your warmth. Your love. You think you need me but that's not even close to true. The truth is I need you. I can't do this alone again. I'm not afraid of the dark, but I know without your light to guide me I would drown in it. I probably deserve to. You look at me like you think even though I have witnessed the darkness in this world I am still innocent. I don't know if I am or if you are. You with your hopes and dreams. You with your future. Our future. What kind of future can we honestly have after all of this? I'll still be broken and you'll still be dreaming.

I can hear the change in your breath before you kiss the back of my neck softly. My body responds to you before I even realize. I press my back into you, feeling the hardness of your body. You roll me over, your eyes staring into mine, "You think too much." You whisper, "You need to rest." I can't help myself, I lean in and kiss you. Hard.

Suddenly you are on top of me, inside me, rough but gentle. You look into my eyes and tell me you love me. I will fight for you, and I will win for you. You collapse on top of me, spent, your skin slick and cold. You kiss my neck, almost like you are nuzzling it. You roll over beside me, and you whisper, "Go to sleep, my love."

I guess it doesn't matter what kind of future I think we have or you think we have. As long as we get to find out which one of us is right.

God, I hope it's you.

-lipservicexx (co-author)

(love, they say this)

You don't need to wonder  
If love will make us stronger  
There's nothing love can't do

(love, they say this)  
You don't need to worry  
This love will make us worthy  
There's nothing love can't do

Tegan and Sara – Love They Say


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